Gaslit mind, mine is blind.
Sunlit eyelids, covered eyes.
Afterimage, booby prize.
It couldn’t be any different,
Out of sight, out of mind.
A snap of a finger (hypnotic drive).
Brainstorming impulse; cloudy eyes.
While karma’s a bitch,
trauma is its son.
Creativity is a burden;
It might as well die.
All the photos I refused to take,
All the group photos I was left out of,
Aren’t making it any better;
The negatives neither.
Since I have some time now, I’ve put together this anthology for you all. If you think my effort is worth it and the quality is good, feel free to buy me a coffee, there’s a button at the end too. Feel free to share this post and comment too.
I’ve also added a few extra poems that you might not have seen before.
I’m testing an intricate idea here. This post is a single post with a collection of poems separated by pages (you might see page breaks depending on where you are reading this), with chapters and titles organized by the appropriate headings (no hyperlinks). Call it my postfolio; it’s a post analogous to a book.
Welcome to a journey through language, writing, and the metatextual world of poetry. We’ll explore how language can be both a creative tool and a barrier. From the playful frustration of crumpled drafts to the powerful imagery of ink and blood, these verses challenge traditional forms, blending free verse with deliberate constraints.
The author
I’m an aphantasic, and this means I can’t visualize. I can remember, recall, and recollect verbal descriptions of people and things, but not the associated mental images. Either there is no image or the monitor is malfunctioning.
However, I’m much better with “sound”, having been considerably trained in music. I have an inner monologue, but no actual auditory internal sound.
When I read a book, I might take longer breaks between chapters than the average reader (presumably not aphantasic, as aphantasia affects no more than there or four percent of people) just to process all the information . I’m good with descriptive language, as long as I don’t stress myself trying to picture the scenery. But I prefer it concise; too much information thrown together is tiresome, and I suspect it is for non-aphantasics as well.
Questions like “Where do you see yourself in X years?” exhaust me. While I can’t speak for others, I can speak for myself: you can’t expect a chessmaster’s mind from someone too absorbed in the present moment. Aphantasic (or not?).
Although I am not a master of mindfulness, I’ve trained considerably my focus (on the present moment, by definition). This training, along with breathing exercises, has helped me manage my anxiety and become more energy efficient.
Speaking of energy efficiency, I wonder if all the imagery in hyperphantasics’ minds don’t consume a lot of energy, while aphantasic brains spend much less. I also wonder if aphantasics aren’t naturally skilled at abstract/conceptual thinking, as it’s their primary tool.
ADVANTAGES
While some might view aphantasia as a limitation, there are possible advantages to consider. For instance, being unable to visualize may mean fewer distractions. It’s easy to focus on the task at hand without mental images cluttering my thoughts, but I don’t know the other way (if only I could toggle a switch on and off to test that). If there is a connection, it’s particularly beneficial in fields that require intense concentration and problem-solving skills.
Additionally, my reliance on verbal and auditory information has sharpened my ability to understand and remember complex concepts through words and sounds alone. This skill has proven invaluable in my musical training, where I can concentrate deeply on auditory details that others might overlook.
DISAVANTAGES
Of course, living with aphantasia isn’t without its challenges. One significant difficulty is the inability to use visual aids for memory and learning. While others might use mental images to remember faces, places, or events, I have to rely on other strategies.
Moreover, the common societal emphasis on visualization, seen in phrases like “picture your success” or “visualize your goals,” can be frustrating. These concepts are often alien to me, and adapting them to my experience requires creative thinking and adaptation.
EMBRACING APHANTASIA
Despite these challenges, I have come to embrace my aphantasia. It has pushed me to develop unique coping strategies and has fostered a deep appreciation for other senses, particularly sound. My ability to live in the present moment, without the distraction of mental images, has also enhanced my mindfulness practice, helping me manage stress and anxiety effectively. But then again, I don’t know the other way (for a true comparison). It would be no more than anedoctal evidence, anyways.
In conclusion, while aphantasia presents certain challenges, it can also offer unique advantages. By focusing on these strengths and developing strategies to overcome the difficulties, I have found a way to thrive. So, is aphantasia actually bliss? For me, it has become a unique part of my identity.
You don’t have to see it, or picture it to imagine it, despite the “image” metaphor being used in the word (concept) imagine. But it’s good that you can do it. While I can’t.
Reveries That I Call Poetry 